Arrows and Revival Season

This pretty little woman gives me a run for my money most days. Something about the baby of 5 kids I’m sure. BUT can I just share the Lord has been moving in her in amazing ways lately?! For a few years she’s said she wants to be a worship singer just like her big sister Allie & singing is always included in our days around here. She’s joined a choir class where she is the youngest by far, there are even seniors in high school in this class. It doesn’t phase her one bit. She’s so bold & brave & courageous and I I know the Lord has put that inside of her. Sometimes it’s hard to help her navigate life because I don’t want to tame a gift from the Lord by any means but it can be overpowering in some settings. We do pray for meekness and gentleness and humility on the reg and I know those things will flourish in time.
She turned 7 on January 31st and leading up to that day she kept telling me she wanted the be baptized in water as soon as her birthday came around. This sweet thing has a memory like an elephant and she remembered that our church in North Carolina wanted kids to wait until at least 7 to be baptized so they could understand more the commitment they were making in their hearts. Which I totally get!
Anyway, she has not been baptized in water yet but she’s been growing in hunger for the Lord. On the evening of Sunday, February 5th Sky ask if she could lead us in a couple of worship songs after dinner and pray over us and she specifically said she wanted us to all soak with Jesus. This has been her norm for probably more than two years now, most nights after dinner & sometimes in the mornings too before we start school. The whole day had already been so sweet beginning at our house church First Love & a sweet friend from Dallas had leading worship there. Total set up. The presence of the Lord came so strong, Sky laid hands on all 5 of us & sang Defender, Way Maker and Oceans. I was totally wrecked. SOBBING. Then all of a sudden she burst into tears and jumped in my lap and was shaking. I said do you feel the presence of Jesus & she said yes. I felt to ask Holy Spirit to fill her and give her her prayer language, which she’s prayed before, but this night she burst out praying in tongues. Since that night she prays in tongues every time we start praying, every time we start worshiping in our home or wherever we are. It’s incredible the fire that has come on her! In her hunger of wanting to be baptized in water, the Lord in His grace and mercy was not limited by our time restraints but instead baptized her in fire! 🕊🔥🔥🔥😭😭😭😭😭

🕊❤️‍🔥Hear my heart please, it doesn’t matter where you stand on the gift of speaking in tongues. Our best efforts to restrain Holy Spirit simply because we don’t understand are not going to work. It is a gift from heaven and the Lord is pouring out His Spirit NOW on a generation who desperately need Him alone! So many things the Lord is teaching me through this little lady and all of our kids right now but for the moment I’ll leave it with this… we must go low and welcome Holy Spirit to come and have His way in our homes and families. This is revival. Press in friends!

Last night Sky ran into the kitchen and said, do you know what Mommy? What’s that’s Sky. Revival is my favorite church now! And just ran off. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😭😭😭😭😭❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
It’s all about Jesus and us walking in sonship! 🙌🏽

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭14‬-‭17‬ ‭

Supernatural Moments

Supernatural moments are all around us, sometimes we just miss them.

A few weeks ago on my way home from Dallas TX, I was so aware of this moment and I’m so grateful. I was catching my connection in Denver CO when this happened. I had just spent a night loved on EXTRAVAGANTLY by my heavenly Father so I was in quite the Holy Spirit swirl of goodness already. That’s a story for another day though. But just let me remind you, He’s a good Father and He does care about every detail of your life.

When this happened I couldn’t stop laughing. (Story in the photo) I texted Felix immediately before even getting to my gate because I was just overcome with so much JOY. I had also really debated on taking a smaller Bible on the trip instead of my big study Bible because of the crazy weight limits on planes now but felt strongly I should take this one.

I want to document this moment because it has stayed with me as one of the most important signs and wonders I’ve ever experienced. You could write it off as just a cute and funny story but it’s impossible for me to. You see, this moment marked me in such a deep and profound way that now I can’t get enough of the Word. Like I’m starving for it every single day. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved and deeply honored the Word of God during my life with Him but I’ve prayed for years to be this hungry for it. Truly. Revelation pouring out in a new way. It’s beautiful and it’s wrecking me like it’s brand new and I guess it is to me. It’s living.

Something supernatural happened to me that day and it came straight from heaven. A gift that I don’t take for granted. I hope this encourages every heart that reads it. 🔥🔥🔥

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭17‬

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭12‬ ‭

Release The Songbirds!

As we’ve moved across the country and definitely pulled back from what “traditional church” looks like in this season …

I’m convinced more than ever that there are singers and writers and musicians within every church community that are hearing the song of heaven singing over that group of people as they lean into the secret place. Very few pastors and leaders are allowing that sound to be released though. The Spirit is being quenched and it brings me to tears how grieved the heart of God must be.

As I was praying this morning I heard this whisper and recognized the phrase from nearly eight years ago. That’s when I heard it for the first time and it was specific to our congregation at that time. I’m hearing it louder and louder today for houses of worship all across the earth in this hour.

“Release the songbirds, release the songbirds, release the songbirds”!!

The religious spirit will stifle their voices because it knows there is freedom when all come in one accord with the sound of heaven. The religious spirit is happy to allow man’s voice to be heard over heaven’s deep cry in the name of law and order and structure. New wine skins are a must! HIS order in the middle of what we think is chaos is more beautiful than anything we can create.

Pastors and leaders, I say this in all humility, we must get out of the way! Our Father in heaven wants to breakthrough in our congregations and He’s going to come like a rushing wind and fire through the very songbirds you’ve kept silent for too long! GET OUT OF THE WAY! We must repent and LET THEM FREE! Trust Him in the uncomfortable, untraditional undignified moments! He’s going to bring freedom and full deliverance to so many within your flock and the revival you’ve contended for, for many years! Make space for them to partake in the BREAD OF LIFE! They are there because they are hungry, not to see a great performance! Resist that religious spirit straight from hell and he will flee.

“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT
“But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way.”
‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Happy New Year 🥂2023

Greetings from Southern California! We have found ourselves closing in on the six month of fully living in San Diego. It’s strange how the Lord can go before you and a new place feels like home so quickly. It would probably be hard to not fall in love with the beautiful beaches and mountains that surround us here. That’s not why the Lord called us here but definitely an added bonus!

Most of you know that the Lord started speaking to Felix and I about California during our first year of marriage, back in 2009. We were both having encounters with the Lord separately and He was just blasting us with confirmations that we would indeed land in California. The timing of the Lord is so different from ours though. Our very ambitious 26 and 28-year-old minds and hearts were absolutely on fire for God and our passion for Jesus would have easily caused us to drop everything at the word GO. Instead, He said WAIT. We would have never guessed that seed, those very important words about California, would need to be planted and take root deeply in our hearts for the next 13 years. Thirteen long years of waiting and desiring to carry that promise to full term. There were years we felt the Lord had gone silent completely, years where the “dying” process felt too unbearable to take any longer, years of pure goodness and mountaintop experiences, years of maturing in so many areas of our lives, years of growing in relationships with friends and family, having babies and raising children, adopting children, and deepening in a relationship with one another and with the Lord. Everyone’s “waiting” looks different but my goodness looking back it’s undeniable how intentional the Lord is in the waiting. It is our opinion that once you’ve given your life to Jesus and you begin contending for the kingdom of heaven to come to earth, He then takes you on some wild rides to teach you what the kingdom really looks like. As Heidi Baker says, “ it’s a cup of joy and suffering”.

In 2013 Felix and I connected with the Catch The Fire movement out of Toronto Canada. Many friendships have sprung up along the way within the Catch The Fire family, and although loving our community deeply at WSF Church and the Winston-Salem North Carolina area (my hometown),we knew in our hearts the connection would be a lasting one from the Lord within CTF. We were unsure for several years what it would look like but we loved everything CTF stood for. From incredible heart healing that was happening to both of us through their core Father heart message to the way they displayed kingdom to us, raising up spiritual sons and daughters all over the world to preach the gospel and reach the nations for Jesus. In September of 2017 our oldest daughter, Allie, set off on a grand adventure to ministry school at Catch The Fire Toronto. That is where she even met her now husband, Ben. In September of 2018 we drove a little over an hour to meet a couple halfway for lunch that had been set up by some of our mutual friends within CTF. Little did we know it was like a blind date of destiny! We would find out that day how similar our journeys had been as couples and even as individuals. How we had felt this strong calling to California but unsure of the exact location and how they had felt a strong calling specifically to San Diego, California. (Which was just mind blowing to us considering they were from England & Ireland) Through a series of more confirmations, we knew in our hearts we were meant to be together. The dreaming into ministry together began. The Finnons arrived here in San Diego exactly two years before us, pioneering First Love San Diego under the Catch The Fire umbrella. We have come to be a part and love San Diego right alongside them and serve the vision the Lord has given the Finnons. Our hearts have expanded in love for California and the people here since arriving.

Our family transitioning six people across the country to a state that often feels more like its own country has not come without plenty of intimidation and opposition from the enemy. We are very clear that we are called here but we are also human. Callings never come without sacrifice and hardships and deep heartache. The cost feels much heavier some days than others. When it’s nearly crushing, the Lord comes in strong with reminders of his promises and then we are able to stand. We stand on the land he’s called us to and we declare his goodness here, we declare that we will see his goodness in the land of the living. There’s such a fiery remnant here in California and it’s beautiful to see Jesus in so many. Many others are hungry and open and searching but they have not experienced the love of the Father… not yet. We see it though, we see a wave of His love not only crashing over California but the entire nation. It’s coming and His love as we all well know, changes EVERYTHING.

The kids are all being so brave! Their hearts hurt for their family and friends back on the East Coast of course. Daily at least one of them or us needs prayer to push through the “why are we here again”? Little by little though they’ve each expressed how they have felt His calling on their lives to this place also. This is obviously our deepest hearts cry, that they would fully step into their identity here as sons and daughters. The Lord told us from the beginning this calling to California is more about our kids than us. It’s for our children, our grandson and future grandchildren. They have begun to see themselves as missionaries here now. They feel the weight of the cost like we do. They also have an underlying knowing that it’s all worth it, no matter how hard it feels. Jesus is worth it.

Part of leaving “everything” and moving to a new land the Lord has prepared for you is also having a hope that He will reveal what it is you are supposed to actually do there. We knew for certain we would be fully engaged with helping to establish the First Love ministry and serve the Finnons in every bit of that, however we’re needed. We also came with our hearts and hands wide open to whatever else he may reveal once we arrived. It felt a certain amount had been hidden from us but in “stepping” onto the land He’s been revealing more and more. There’s been a certain amount of dying that has continued like a heart surgery that’s creating a dependency on the Lord we’ve never actually known. We thought we did but not like this. We are here for His purposes period. He has brought back to life old dreams that we thought were dead, He has ask us to lay down some of the plans that we had made for ourselves, and He’s connected so many different details of our lives into one big a-ha moment.

Both mine and Felix’s stories with the Lord started in prayer rooms. Prayer has been woven into our marriage and our life with Jesus from the beginning. By his grace alone was prayer imprinted on our hearts as the key to everything we would ever need this side of heaven. So many prayed for us to come into the kingdom and that is what rescued us in our early twenties out of the darkest seasons of our entire lives. Through prayer God set us free from addiction, through prayer God has healed and moved mountains for friends and family, through prayer God healed our son, through prayer God saved our marriage, through prayer God brought breakthrough and miracles when things looked impossible, and prayer is our lifeline to the greatest lover of our souls. From the very beginning of our marriage prayer rooms, healing rooms, and houses of prayer have been a part of who we are. We feel more confident than ever that it is a desire in the Lord‘s heart for us to establish a house of prayer here in SoCal. Not just for one church body but for all believers to have a place to go where they know prayer and worship will be happening. A house of prayer whose intercession within the walls is bringing breakthrough and freedom to the nations, that is bringing answers and provision to some of the darkest places on earth, that is praying for Israel, that is shifting the atmosphere and culture here in California and beyond, that is encouraging the body of Christ, that is bringing deliverance and healing to the broken and that most of all is simply adoring the person of Jesus. We have currently been hosting prayer and worship in our home here in San Diego on Thursday evenings. We have begun to pray and seek the Lord for a building, a space to be able to host more weekly hours of prayer and worship and eventually be able to host intercessory missionaries who feel called to this more full-time as well. We would love your support first of all through your prayers and encouragement. We know the Lord can do more in a moment through prayer than any of us are able to do in a lifetime. Secondly, we would love for you to pray and ask the Lord if you are to partner with us financially as we lean into establishing a SoCal House of Prayer and anything else He desires for us to give Him our yes to. Our hearts are encouraged by the Lord to see this come to flourishen here in Southern California. We see this impacting generations to come until the Lord returns.

We would love to stay connected with you all. We will plan to share an update of our journey each month or so. Please reach out with your personal prayer request, share your family updates and also PLEASE COME VISIT US!

Here’s to us all continuing to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth together, right where we are planted. 🥂

Love you all,

The Reyes Family

Life

Life : The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. It is scientifically correct to say that an individual human life begins at conception. Human development begins after the union of male and female gametes or germ cells during a process known as fertilization (conception).

God (Yahweh) is the Source and Sustainer of Life. According to Genesis 2:7, “the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”

Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My words below will impact many people differently. I am sincerely sorry to those who are grieved, heartbroken, angry, shocked, and many other emotions that may come up as you read. What I have to do is be obedient. If there is one young girl or woman (or man) who finds comfort in my words, a safe place within my friendship, or strengthening and encouragement within their spirit man… then it was worth sharing.

Because of the safe place we have in this beautiful covenant with a loving Heavenly Father, may we allow it to become apart of our nature to open up space in our hearts to be a safe place to others.

As a woman who participated in the horrific act of abortion in my early twenties, who has in fact committed murder, taken life away from another human being because I thought it was my choice to do so and honestly my only option…

I wholeheartedly celebrate Roe v Wade being overturned.

I do not feel judgment in my heart towards those who have had abortions, I feel the deepest mourning and grief and loss of life that I experienced. I will never understand those who celebrate taking a baby’s life in the womb. For me personally both before coming to know Jesus and after, the sanctity of life in the womb didn’t change. I had already had a perfect baby girl as a teenager and she was my world. But the giant of telling my family I was pregnant again and taking care of another child out of wedlock felt too enormous to overcome. Yes, at the core of it all, selfish. I felt the deep sin and regret from the moment the decision was made in my heart but it still wasn’t enough to change my decision. Abortion was easily accessible to me in the darkest season of my life. It was and still is the deepest and darkest regret of my life.

I shared this devastating part of my story with my oldest daughter just a few years ago. I knew the Lord was taking me through another grieving process and ultimately leading me to share my story with more people and I wanted her to hear it from me first. Although it felt so hypocritical for me to push into anything pro life and standing up against abortion, the calling from the Lord was getting to be too much to bear. I could no longer remain silent on the issue of abortion. I had begun having vivid dreams about abortions and waking up out of my sleep wailing. This was a different and deeper level of mourning that felt agonizing, and it was during that time that I had a vision of blood on my hands. I ask the Lord why He was taking me through this again as I had spent years repenting of this and asking His forgiveness. He spoke so clearly to my heart, “there are so many babies who have never been mourned, millions of destinies never fulfilled, and millions of murders never repented of. These are my sons and daughters and their blood is on the hands of this nation.” It was then clear the agonizing pain I was experiencing was the Father’s pain and heartache over the genocide in our nation that is abortion. You’ll find there is justice desired for these lives that have been taken within the Father’s heart as you seek Him. KINGDOM JUSTICE.

This has taken me on a journey not only through my intercession and praying into a world where abortion is unimaginable for every pregnancy but also leaning into very practical ways that believers can provide solutions and be proactive so these pregnancies can many times be prevented all together.

I believe so much of this begins in the home. It begins with mothers and fathers being present and emotionally available to their daughters and sons. Many young girls are searching for value and worth and identity from a male because that wasn’t spoken into them by their father. The first glimpse we have of our Heavenly Father’s love for us comes from our earthly father. Whatever that looks like can truly shape how we see ourselves, how we see God and how we aim to fulfill the desires in our hearts. As a mother of five now with a very large age spectrum, I’ve realized we can be fully present physically but emotionally unavailable and so disconnected that it leaves our children wanting. This usually has to do with our own inner life and healing that we still need. Whole and healthy parents are going to raise more whole and healthy children. There is never going to be a perfect parent, but pursuing inner healing as parents is a gift we give to our children for their childhood years, their adulthood and then their parenthood.

The women choosing to keep their babies need help and not just during their pregnancy. Sometimes it’s easy to celebrate the choice for life but then just as easy to totally disconnect of how this impacts the life of that mother and child. If you have a single mom or dad in your life, be family to them. Offer to keep their children while they work or just a get a break for an evening. Give them cards filled with cash to help with groceries or daycare or whatever their needs may be. We are living in a different time where I think we should view single parents as the widow and orphan that scripture talks about. Take care of them. Do not shame them, love them well. They too need to experience the Father’s love just like we all do. As a very young single mom, I was fortunate enough to experience both in my life and the shaming (mostly from believers) did nothing but cause me to “hide” from God and go deeper in my sin. The unconditional love and kindness and genuine help from believers is what brought me out of hiding.

You will often hear people say if you’re pro life and against abortion you should be adopting kids. This simply is not our opinion. Adoption is NOT for everyone or for every family. Adoption is a beautiful thing. As a family who has fostered and adopted children… we can tell you that fostering and adoption is MESSY. It’s hard, exhausting, frustrating, heartbreaking and also beautiful. Adoption is not beautiful because it’s easy or smooth sailing, adoption is beautiful because it gives a child a chance. Often you are dealing with generational strongholds that must be broken in the spirit realm over these children. Adoption is absolutely rewarding though and incredibly worth it for those called. There are so many ways to help in this area without you yourself being the one adopting children. There are pregnancy centers, church organizations and foster/ adoption agencies that would LOVE to have your partnership whether financially or as a volunteer in some way. There are also foster and adoptive families who are struggling and need friendship and care. Adoption is a calling for many but not everyone. If you are called, you know it and you should fully give the Lord your yes. He will sustain you and give you everything you need for yourself, your children, and your spouse. His grace is truly sufficient.

We as believers are in fact the Bride of Christ. We are in this beautiful covenant with Him and to know Him is to know LOVE. There is no doubt all of heaven celebrates what happened on earth this past week. The creator of LIFE is in fact celebrating a nation’s choice for LIFE. We should all be celebrating, not because of a political party, but because it is always an honor to join in with the song and celebration of heaven. Repentance actually goes hand in hand with such celebration. As imperfect and broken sons and daughters of a living God, we should spend time repenting of the sins of our nation. I believe there is incredible restoration and blessing in store for this nation with the ending of innocent bloodshed.

Media may be loud right now with those angry about the overturning of Roe V Wade and those who have celebrated abortions and in their opinion their freedom to choose for the last fifty years but that’s the enemy’s ammo. We certainly need to pray for them to have an encounter with the Lord. Can I tell you there are so many women all around you who are silently mourning and grieving the life or lives they chose to terminate? Women who need a safe place with no judgment but instead a hand to hold to walk down a path of repentance, forgiveness and healing. As believers who are in covenant with a God who created our inmost being, we should be that safe place. We should be the safe place for the young girl who has no earthly father but is desperately searching for love, we should be the safe place for the teenage girl who finds herself pregnant and doesn’t know what to do, for the woman who has already had an abortion but is paralyzed in the trauma from that experience, for the woman who chooses life but has no idea how she’ll care for another human being but desperately wants to try because she can’t imagine letting that baby go, for the teenage couple who chooses to give their child up for adoption because they weren’t ready to be parents, for the family who is fostering or adopting children that have been addicted to drugs from the womb, and so forth and so forth. There are so many people who need a safe place to experience love and genuine care from believers because we have a Heavenly Father who loves them unconditionally and wants to lavish His love on them.

There is always hope and healing and restoration in the arms of Jesus.

Because of the safe place we have in this beautiful covenant with a loving Heavenly Father, may we allow it to become apart of our nature to open up space in our hearts to be a safe place to others.

Transparency

My friend Karyn shared this photo in a post a few nights ago. Between the words it says and hers they had me in a puddle of tears for the next couple of hours. I needed the reminder of our why again. I need it every now and then to be honest because the truth is Felix and I both agree that this journey of foster and adoption has been the hardest thing we’ve ever done in our lives. We met our little girls at the end of 2016. We had no idea the journey ahead.

For the most part I stay pretty quiet on social media about our journey and that’s largely because I want to respect the fact that this is their story as well. I’ve come to realize though, this is their story and they will one day read what I’ve written and so will our boys. They’ll remember that there were certainly sweet and beautiful and fun moments but there were also the hardest of days with tears and tantruming and anger and frustration and things being broken and plans being canceled for the hundredth time because emotionally no one could handle being around anyone else for a few hours. The day had just taken too much of a toll on everyone. They’ll remember there were hospital stays and more therapy appointments than we can count. They’ll remember that we lived more like hermits than we ever did before adoption because it’s hard to go places with friends without walking on egg shells of the next trauma meltdown that may happen. So, I want to be more transparent and vulnerable. I’m not exactly sure if it’s for my kids, myself, or just to simply burst the fantasy perception bubble that is social media.

When there are weeks or even consistently hard months every single scenario plays through our minds… I would be lying if I said even that similar phrase hasn’t crossed my mind. “I could just be sitting on the sidelines in blissful ignorance of the brokenness that surrounds me, enjoying the wholeness of a sweet and sheltered life.” End of thought sometimes. When you’re having a hard time coming up for air, it is very tempting to live in the what if’s. Oh and they can look good and even cause you to question every decision you’ve ever made. The fact is, we adopted two very broken little girls with so much trauma from generations passed down, from the womb, after the womb and then they were passed around in foster care. Both girls struggle with their own special needs. Although their foster families were all AMAZING and loved them deeply like their own, the life struggles these girls have are many.

I realize these words will take many by surprise because if you’ve not been in our inner circle over the past five and a half years you don’t know why this has been the most beautifully heartbreaking gut wrenching rewarding emotionally and mentally exhausting journey of our entire lives. This journey has challenged and strengthened every area of our lives and marriage. All of our biological children have suffered right along side our adoptive children in their own ways. Moving forward I aim to live more authentic in any relationship or on any platform I’m given about our lives. This is not because we want sympathy or pity but at the core I believe it diminishes the glory we should be giving the Lord for every milestone of breakthrough and growth and wholeness and healing that He is undeniably doing in each one of our lives. Especially our little girls.

One of the biggest lies that we as believers face is that God’s will for your life will be easy and perfect and smooth sailing. Since following Jesus I have given my yes to Him on things that at the time made absolutely no sense at all and some things that made perfect sense. For instance, adopt the orphans, seems to make perfect sense and of course very Biblical. There’s never been a yes, before or after, that has required more of our utter dependence on Him. I think that was probably the goal here. In our own strength, we could never do this. We would give it our best effort of course, but we would be majorly lacking in so many ways. Don’t get me wrong, we are still learning to live completely dependent on the Lord. He is our daily bread. He has shown up in moments we thought we could go no further. He’s increased our capacity to give grace and love and patience and be a team when not many others understand this life we’ve said yes to.

I actually do not think adoption and fostering is for everyone but I absolutely think this is an area of intercession everyone can participate in. I wish I would have been more intentional about interceding for the broken around me when I was in fact living in blissful ignorance to such heartache. We all know that our Father in heaven can do more in a moment than we are able to do in a lifetime. I think we forget about this gift of intercession that we’ve been given simply because the enemy keeps us distracted in our own personal chaos. We lose sight of the bigger picture. The hurting. The sick. The broken. The suffering. The grieving. The hopeless.

This is who the Kingdom of heaven wants to touch through each of us. I believe once we have been touched by Jesus and received healing ourselves, it is then in our innate nature to want to turn around and bring that same hope and the Healer to another person.

He is our redeeming love. He is the one who pursues even when we are kicking and screaming to not receive His love and kindness to us. Maybe because we don’t feel worthy because of the trauma we’ve lived through or decisions we’ve made or even things we’ve done. The shame consumes us and we would rather wear it like a blanket than expose what’s underneath. I pray you have the courage to take that blanket of shame off like our daughters are trying to do daily. There is so much healing available when you are vulnerable in His safe presence. He sees you and He already loves you more than you can imagine.

The truth is, you were worth dying for friend. We all were.

I pray my children read this one day and confidently say look at all the Lord has done.

Not Quite 72 Hours Ago

Not quite 72 hours ago our lives changed forever. They could have changed in the most tragic way but instead as a family we are choosing to believe they changed in the way we see the Lord’s protection over us and move forward in more love and more unity and more compassion than ever.

On Monday June 14th the boys started tennis camp at Hanes Park. Since they were finishing up at 3pm I decided to take the girls around 2:20 so they could have some time to play on the playground before the boys finished. There were many children from the Imprints camp on the playground and my girls made fast friends of course. Once the boys finished up camp they all needed to use the restroom. So we headed across the bridge to the track and tennis center. I had brought snacks that they all ask if they could eat in the shade under the centers overhang and where it wasn’t so crowded on the other side of the bridge. We took our time, ate snack, looked around the tennis center and the boys ran a lap around the track. As the boys ran their lap I called Felix to let him know how their first day of tennis camp went. We were just chatting and I had even mentioned to him how there were so many kids on the other side of the bridge at the playground I wasn’t sure if we’d stop back by. Sometimes it’s hard to keep eyes on all four of them when there are so many kids already running around. I called Felix at 3:35pm and our call would only last 4 minutes. A young man I would later find out had just shot a round with an AK47 into our nearby police department had been chased to the park we were sitting at. We heard two single shots that made me say to Felix that sounded like guns shots. Thankfully the boys had just finished running their lap with a really fit couple and their daughter. But as soon as I said that, an entire round went off from what we’d later find out was an AK47. My first thought truly was “does Reynolds High School have a gun range”? It was so loud that I was actually in disbelief and if you know me well, you know I can freeze in shock. I’m so grateful for that couple, who may never know they are who jolted me into action. They knew exactly what the sound was and the woman yelled out there’s a shooter run run run. You see we were on the track and this young man was coming down the hill from Reynolda High School to where we were. He was very close. I yelled to Felix on the phone, “there’s a shooter” and threw my phone in the snack bag. I would later find out he heard the entire round of shots very loudly in the phone. I looked at my children and told them to run as fast as they could and follow that couple. My four children and I took off across the bridge headed for the playground. It helped me greatly to have that couple almost leading the way for my kids so I could remain behind them. The police were already on the playground and had grouped all the imprints campers and counselors in one location trying to get them to safety. I was surprised to see the playground had already been evacuated but the truth is we had been hearing the sirens for a bit before the shots were ever fired and didn’t think much of it because you often hear some sirens in downtown. Once across the bridge I actually got my children behind a tree, the shooting sounds had stopped and my husband was calling. To which I answered and told him I think we are safe now, there are police everywhere on this side of the bridge and one is even very close in proximity to me, I’m sure they’ll get us to our car safely. Two young ladies, I assume in their twenties walked up to me at the same time and ask what is happening. But as soon as I said I think we’re safe, another round of shooting started from the same side of the bridge we had run to, so we took off running in the opposite direction of the parking lot (where my car was) and all of the police took off towards that parking lot. Again the Lord provided these girls who were fast so I could tell my kids to follow as fast as they could. We ran through the playground and got down on the smaller set of stairs that led up to Northwest Blvd. with these two young adult girls where we felt hidden by trees there. (Not the main stairs that enter Hanes Park playground, but the small hidden ones) But as soon as we caught our breaths there was another round of shooting that started. In the moment we obviously didn’t know if it was the shooter or police, or more than one shooter, I was just trying to get my kids as far away as possible from the danger that felt like it was only getting closer each time. It truly sounded like a war zone. We ran again, up the sidewalk against northwest blvd and we were just running and running and to be honest my eyes filled with tears as those girls were just getting too out of reach for us to catch and I prayed and said Lord I don’t know if anyone is going to help me get my kids to safety now. I could hardly breathe to run much further. Not very long after I prayed that I heard this little voice saying bring your kids over here, bring your kids in my home. It took me a second to find her across the street but once I did we all ran across the street and into her home. Actually it didn’t hit me in the moment but I realized when she said, you all are safe now why don’t you come out here into the living room, we had run through her house and to the very back and just grabbed each other. Haha, I thought oh my word I’ve run through this ladies whole house. We remained there with a sweet sweet couple who I cannot thank enough, hunkered down on the floor for safety, until my sister, Meredith, and brother n law, Nathaniel, drove over and picked us up. The Lord was in so many details that day, I can’t even begin to explain them all but even that one with my sister. They were on their way to take Ren to the vet and police officers and under cover cars were flying past them headed downtown. Meredith said that Nathaniel just said with that many police I bet there’s a shooter in downtown. To which Meredith said oh my gosh I just saw on Instagram Ashley and the kids are at a park downtown. So odd that Nate would even say that, what happened is absolutely not the normal for Winston- Salem. Nate called me immediately to make sure we were safe and not near there to which I answered hardly able to speak because of being so out of breath with my asthma. I had only just entered that home with the kids a couple of minutes before when he called. They were only ten minutes from us and able to come pick us up. Felix was working about 45 minutes from our house that day and he would tell you he couldn’t get back to Winston fast enough. I have intentions to find out this couple’s names to thank them properly. I’m forever grateful for them. We would later find out that my SUV could not be picked up as the shooter was shot and detained in the nearby creek so my car was in an active crime scene. Which we understood of course. We were able to pick up my car the next day. Continued after photos…

Thank you thank you thank you to all the Winston Salem Police Department, Sheriffs Department, undercover officers, camp counselors, and coaches. Thank you for everything you did to protect civilians on Monday June 14th. I saw you and you were brave and selfless. It is not lost on me one bit. Thank you to the four people who may never know that you led the way for my children to run.

To be honest the Lord really helped me and led me in how to help the kids the following day. I’m so grateful for the prayers that were covering us from those close and knew what had happened. It was a game changer for us about halfway through the day Tuesday.

Tuesday morning I woke up so overwhelmed with emotion that I started a task of basically canceling every camp that I have any of the kids signed up for this summer. The kids were very weepy and super cuddly with me and each other and I was letting them process how they needed to. Interestingly enough they each wanted to process by drawing maps of where we were and where we ran and so forth so they could show Felix and my parents. I was getting really concerned about being at the beach in a few weeks with my family in an open area like that and thinking about where we would run if a shooter came. The little girls were talking about how much the Lord had protected us and the boys were asking questions like why does he not always protect and allow some people to die in tragic situations? What made us so special to not let us die? Just a lot going through everyone’s minds and everyone trying to process differently. In the midst of it all I felt the Lord whispering to my heart to not let trauma take root. So, I decide to listen to that voice I know well because I could feel the alternative could be detrimental to us as a family. I turned on a movie for the kids and went and got in the shower and probably had the hardest cry that I’ve had yet about this whole experience. I told the Lord I wanted to release it all to Him and for him to show me how to walk this out in the right way for my kids and myself. Just a lot of emotions to filter through with the Lord about the entire experience.

Felix called after I was out of the shower and said the police had released my car and we could get it. He said he and hector were going to go pick it up and bring it to me so I wouldn’t have to go back down there to see where everything happened. I felt the Lord say the kids and I needed to go and get the car with them. I know that may seem too quick for some but I process differently and the Lord knows I’m always asking for accelerated healing to not get stuck. It’s just not good for me to sit on things too long because I’ve seen that outcome for myself too.

So that’s what we did and once we were there and getting out of his car to get into mine the kids really surprised me and they wanted to walk around. They wanted to show Felix all the places that we had run to and hidden and where the shooter was and the house where the couple took us in for safety. It ended up being a super healing time that I was not expecting. We prayed together and prayed over that park and blessed the park to be a joyful place for families and never a violent place again and thanked the Lord for his protection over our family and all the other children and adults that were there. We prayed that trauma and fear wouldn’t be allowed to take root in our hearts or the other children and adults that experienced it on Monday. We basically made an altar there of how the Lord protected us all instead of letting it be a place of fear and tragedy. It was exactly what our hearts needed and the kids all prayed and cried with us and it was good. We went to Lavender and Honey nearby and got the kids yummy sweet treats and I stayed and let them play games outside once Felix and Hector went back to work. I just wanted to fill the moment of redemption with fun and happy memories. To replace the fear that had taken over the day before.

Some of you know I had been out of town on a girl’s trip to Charleston all weekend. I had returned home Sunday night. This event obviously happened on Monday. Felix shared with me on Tuesday night that this was the first time I was away on a trip that he kept feeling like something bad was going to happen to me. He said he prayed all weekend for my protection, that I wouldn’t die and for any of the enemies plans to be canceled against me, and pleading the blood of Jesus over me. He said he was overwhelmed with emotion because he felt the Lord prompting him to pray this way over me so much over the weekend. He couldn’t get away from the thought I was in danger. He said it made him so nervous for the first time for me to be away without him and the possibility of losing me. It wasn’t until his drive from Yadkinville back to Winston going 90 miles an hour Monday that he realized why he had been praying for a shield of protection around me all weekend. 😭😭😭😭

You just never know when Holy Spirit is prompting you to pray and what it’s about but we should all pay attention to that voice and be obedient. Not live in worry and fear and anxiety but truly PRAY. There were probably intercessors we may never know who were praying all over this city that day prompted by Holy Spirit. I for one know the Lord had a shield of protection around everyone at that police station and Hanes Park on Monday June 14th. One of my friends even sent me the verse of the day on Monday night and it was Psalm 91: 1-2 TPT 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽😭😭 “When you abide under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High. He’s the hope that holds me and the stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence.” We have all of Psalm 91 hanging in the foyer of our home. A beautiful picture I had gotten in Israel years ago and framed. The sweet leaders I went with on that trip are in their 80’s and taught me on that trip the importance of praying Psalm 91 over our family each morning. They had the entire scripture memorized and it marked me forever.

I’ll tell you what though, He’s already brought good for our family from this experience. I told Felix Monday night that during the event I was just telling them what to do and where to go and praying in the spirit, and I could literally feel my love and protection for them growing in a supernatural way. I feel like it even brought the kids closer together and their love and compassion for one another increased. I know He helped me every step of the way during all of it and I’m just so grateful. He even sent folks that I could tell my kids to follow as fast they could. To this day I’m not completely sure if they weren’t all angels.

Anyway, I do truly believe there’s redemption in all things and Holy Spirit led me in how to begin that healing process on Tuesday for our family. To not wait for it to come but to seek Him for it. If not, I felt the alternative really trying to take root and I wasn’t sure if we were leaving the house again to be in open public places. Which obviously I needed not to give into for myself or my children.

I’ve learned more about the shooter now and how he tragically took the lives of his mother and grandmother before the other events even started. I am sincerely praying for this family and praying in heaven’s blueprints of how we do a better job of helping the mentally ill in our society. The truth is we are all safe and unharmed but that family has so much grief and pain to walk through now. May the Lord wrap His arms around them all and bring comfort only He can bring. William Scott (Spanky), our family prays for your salvation. That you would know the love of your Heavenly Father and that you would be completely set free, healed, delivered and transformed by His love for you.

June 14th 2021 won’t be a day easily forgotten for our family but a day to remember the Lord’s protection over us for sure.

Non-negotiables

If You Don’t Stand For Something, You’ll Fall For Anything

I spoke about this encounter at a church a few weeks. I felt the nudge from Holy Spirit to post it on the blog as well. This is a word more saturated in scripture than anything else. I pray it encourages you and inspires you to dig a little deeper with the Lord on your journey with Him.

A few months ago I woke up and heard Holy Spirit whisper this phrase to me. It’s honestly how I know the Lord’s about to take me on a learning journey which usually involves some loving discipline as well. Whenever He wakes me up whispering something to my heart this way, I know it’s imperative I carve out more time to sit with Him, listen and study. Those whispers are an invitation.

“IF YOU DON’T STAND FOR SOMETHING, YOU’LL FALL FOR ANYTHING”

I started out by researching who coined this phrase to begin with because I knew it well but I wanted to know where it originated. We’ve heard this phrase in movies, read it in books and maybe even you’ve grown up hearing it from your parents. I wanted to know where it came from and if at the core it was actually a biblical statement. Some interesting things that I found… Usually all the credit goes to Alexander Hamilton. And this could very well be where the phrase originated from or maybe even something his mother would say to him…. Nevertheless it’s been used over the years in many different ways. Below are a few examples I found interesting.
*There was a church bulletin in 1926 that used it in their announcements of their Methodist church. *In 1927 it was written in a newspaper. “It is easier to fall for anything than to stand for something.”*In 1946 an Albany, New York newspaper reported on a meeting of the National Woman’s Party with about 50 attendees*Miss Grace Reavy suggested as a slogan for the group, “Unless you stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”*At the start of legislative sessions in the U.S. Senate a daily prayer is typically offered by the Senate Chaplain. On April 18, 1947 Chaplain Peter Marshall spoke the following words: “Our Father, we yearn for a better understanding of spiritual things, that we may know surely what Thy will is for us and for our Nation. Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for—because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.”
*Alexander Hamilton? Gordon A. Eadie? Irene Dunne? Peter Marshall? Theodore DeVries? William Sloane Coffin Jr.? Alex Hamilton? Anonymous? Who said it first? One of them did.

Here are three versions:

(1) If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.(2) Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.(3) When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything.

With all of the ways this phrase has been used though, I knew the Lord was questioning me on my own convictions. Ewe “convictions” never feels or sounds like a fun word. Does it? It sounds like rules and takes me back sometimes to a season in my own life when I was merely attending church but in no way pursuing a relationship with the Lord. Religion without relationship only feels like rules. He assured me this would be a journey worth taking and it would be for my own safety and for my family. I heard the word non-negotiables in my spirit. I could tell this was serious.
He began to show me that at the end of the day how firmly or lightly I stood on those convictions, would in turn determine the amount of deception I could open myself up to.

I think we all can agree that 2020 alone offered multiple opportunities to get swept up into deception. Even if it was deception on something that looked well meaning like compassion or justice or peace or inclusivity. At times maybe it was hard to know what was truth. I believe 2020 was an opportunity to get our houses in order. An opportunity to not only decide and prioritize the most important things but also to do it with the convictions from the Lord. To be honest I think that 2020 was only a glimpse of the persecution that will come to Christians in our nation. It’s already happening around the world and has been for decades. We must know what we stand for and what the non-negotiables are in our lives. This is what will keep us safe from deception and “falling for anything”.

No one is ever above getting deceived. It can happen to anyone at anytime. I do believe this encounter for me was a wake up. The Lord highlighting the urgency of putting boundaries in place and to know without a doubt what I stand for and even what I do not stand for. These are important to have in our lives so we are less likely of getting swept up in deception. I went through a small amount of time last year of being extremely deceived. Something that I thought looked like compassion and love, at the root was only causing more chaos in our nation. The Lord exposed it to me for what it was. I was grieved in my heart for a while. I was grieved at how blinded I felt through that time. How right I felt to my core. He showed me that the only fruit coming from the supposedly compassionate and loving movement I was agreeing with was more anger and bitterness and division. In my own life and even friends and strangers lives alike. I took time to be with the Lord and repent of how easily I was being swayed by my emotions. I have no doubt that’s why on this particular day when I was back to a place of truly seeking Him for TRUTH, He decided to wake me up with such a phrase. “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”.

So, what do you stand for? What are your convictions? What are your non negotiables? Have you ever thought through these on your own? Have you ever written them down or if you’re married have you ever talk through them with your spouse? Have you had these conversations with your children so that they know where your family stands on things. The non-negotiables. Rules do not usually sound fun to us as humans. But I would propose to you that rules are very different from convictions. You see we’re compelled by our love for God to allow these convictions to be boundaries in our life to keep us safe.

Psalm 1“Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked [following their advice and example], Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit [down to rest] in the seat of scoffers (ridiculers). But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And on His law [His precepts and teachings] he [habitually] meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season; Its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity]. The wicked [those who live in disobedience to God’s law] are not so, But they are like the chaff [worthless and without substance] which the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand [unpunished] in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD knows and fully approves the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked shall perish.”Psalms 1:1-6 AMP

The foundation for any true conviction is the Word of God. The final Word. If the Bible requires it, it is God ordered. If it is God ordered, it is a conviction. If it’s a conviction and God ordered what is it if I don’t do it? It’s sin. So before I can even say it’s a conviction in my own life, I must understand the opposite of it is sin.
So think to yourself what are my biblically-based convictions. Keep in mind we can’t do this in our own strength. Holy Spirit will always be the one to lead us to truth and to also equip us to live out our own convictions after receiving Christ. Obviously I’m not saying you need to have these rules listed out and never break them. It’s more about having these convictions almost implanted in your heart so that you’re less likely to fall into compromise on things or even be deceived.

***Your own secret place in prayer with the Lord is where He begins to transform you and implant these convictions into your own heart. Your intercession will always be birthed out of intimacy with Him as well. He will show you His heart and prophetic promises to declare and pray into for yourself, your family, others, your city, and even the nations.

“If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. So then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.”Romans 14:8 AMP
“For the love of Christ controls and compels us, because we have concluded this, that One died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that all those who live would no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and was raised for their sake.”2 Corinthians 5:14-15 AMP
“The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me; I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they will never, ever [by any means] perish; and no one will ever snatch them out of My hand.”John 10:27-28 AMP
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day [when I judge them], ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, and driven out demons in Your name, and done many miracles in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them publicly, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM M E [you are banished from My presence], YOU WHO ACT WICKEDLY [disregarding My commands].’”Matthew 7:21-23 AMP

One of the greatest convictions for all of us as believers… A nonnegotiable, is the WORD of God. Eat it, consume it, digest it, Study it and know it well. We are to live it out and share this good news. This is a non-negotiable. 

“All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honorably with personal integrity and moral courage]; so that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.”2 Timothy 3:16-17 AMP
“So whoever rejects and disregards this is not [merely] rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you [to dwell in you and empower you to overcome temptation].”1 Thessalonians 4:8 AMP

“For Ezra had set his heart (resolved) to study and interpret the Law of the LORD, and to practice it and teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.”Ezra 7:10 AMP
Some things that jumped out to me about Ezra is that he*STUDIED, LIVED IT, TAUGHT IT

Those who meditate on THE WORD day and night can expect to have God’s favor on your life.

Here are a few things I would encourage you to stand for in your own life… Some non-negotiables

1) The CHURCH- the Bride of Christ -WE NEED ONE ANOTHER
God loves His church. We are the church. We are entering into a time where it’s more important than ever for us to love one another without conditions. We should absolutely hold each other accountable but not for the purpose of pointing out flaws and failures but for the purpose of calling one another higher. Higher because we see one another through our Father’s eyes and we see the God given identity He’s transforming us into. The church must stand together and not allow the enemy to continue bringing division.

“From Him the whole body [the church, in all its various parts], joined and knitted firmly together by what every joint supplies, when each part is working properly, causes the body to grow and mature, building itself up in [unselfish] love.”Ephesians 4:16 AMP
“Let us seize and hold tightly the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is reliable and trustworthy and faithful [to His word]; and let us consider [thoughtfully] how we may encourage one another to love and to do good deeds,”Hebrews 10:23-24 AMP

2) PROTECTING YOUR MIND
What are you allowing in? Movies, tv shows, music, news, etc. Are you protecting your mind?

“Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. The things which you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things [in daily life], and the God [who is the source] of peace and well-being will be with you.”Philippians 4:8-9 AMP

3) LOVING YOUR FAMILY WELL / Discipling your children
Husbands love your wife like Christ loves the Church. Wives honor your husband, be true and faithful to him. Teach your children in the ways of the Lord, they are a gift from God. There is a real enemy. He wants to destroy your marriage and family. He wants to divide you and your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Speak life over him/ her. Be a watchmen on the wall and take the enemy down in spirit realm every time you see him coming. He wants your children to not understand their identity so that he can bring confusion to them even more and prevent them from ever fulfilling the plans of the Lord for their life. We have a critical role to play as parents raising Christ followers/ warriors for the Kingdom of God. We must train them in the ways of the Lord. We must pray for them and declare the promises of God over their lives. We must show them by our own journey and passion for God how to live. If they see your hunger and thirst for righteousness, they’ll hunger and thirst. If they see your love for the Word of God, they’ll love it and want to read it too. If they see your prayer life, they’ll begin a prayer life all their own. They will love the way they see you love. A prayer for our children should always be, let my ceiling with you Lord be their floor. A launching pad that sends them higher and deeper into the supernatural with God than we ever knew possible.

“Behold, children are a heritage and gift from the LORD, The fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.”Psalms 127:3-4 AMP

4) HAVE CONVICTION ABOUT THE WORDS THAT YOU SPEAK
Our words create worlds. What are you creating with your words? This is so important and something that I am still very much learning. It’s so easy to be negative and not positive and encouraging in the way that we speak but our words have the power of life and death in them.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.”Proverbs 18:21 AMP
The written Word of God is the formal decree of the Lord, our King. When we declare God’s word out of our mouth’s, with hearts full of faith, those faith filled words go forth to establish Gods order in our lives. When this Royal decree is pronounced, things begin to change.

5) PROTECT YOUR INTIMACY WITH THE LORD
Protecting the secret place, your prayer life & listening and obeying the voice of God. The secret place is where you minister to the Lord, you cultivate a deeper relationship with Him and you receive insight from a heavenly perspective.

6) REMEMBER THERE IS BEAUTY IN HIS PLAN AND WE MUST STAND FOR OUR FAITH IN HIM AND HIS WORD

In my personal life and walk with the Lord it has only been through some of the greatest challenges and battles that my faith has increased. There were times I felt completely helpless in every way naturally but the moment I pressed in through prayer and allowed His strength to cover my weakness, I could nearly feel myself growing ten feet tall in the spirit realm. It’s almost like a warrior coming to attention in those moments. You resolve in your heart to trust Him no matter what. No matter the outcome, you’ve laid your life down in surrender to His will and it is in that place you find safety in His leading. The faith doesn’t just leave you either. Once increased, you find that you believe for so much more. Yes, it may get a little shaken at times when things don’t turn out the way you thought they were going to but in the place of intimacy He continues to whisper to your heart, “just trust me” and it brings comfort and pulls you up again as if stabilizing your faith once more.

” So many people pray to have great faith but often do not understand that faith grows through challenges like stepping out to do things they do not fully know and understand or have experience with. Faith develops and increases as it is used.” – Joyce Meyer

“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”Romans 8:28 AMP
“And will not [our just] God defend and avenge His elect [His chosen ones] who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf? I tell you that He will defend and avenge them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [this kind of persistent] faith on the earth?””Luke 18:7-8 AMP
“Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I was compelled to write to you [urgently] appealing that you fight strenuously for [the defense of] the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints [the faith that is the sum of Christian belief that was given verbally to believers].”Jude 1:3 AMP

7) FORGIVENESS
Give it freely. Forgive others, yourself, the Lord. It’s never worth it to live with unforgiveness in your heart. Not even for a day. Ask the Lord to search your heart, keep no judgements in your heart towards others. Ask others for forgiveness as well. Apologizing when you’re wrong and forgiving others when they are wrong will set you free more than you can imagine.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”Matthew 6:14 NIV
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”Ephesians 4:32 NIV

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”Colossians 3:13 NIV
“In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.””Matthew 18:34-35 NIV 
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”Psalms 139:23 NIV

8) FOR GOODNESS SAKES, DON’T LOSE YOUR LOVE
The Word tells us they will know us by our love and even tells us to love our enemies.
It’s not hard to see that we as the church have room to increase in our love for all people. Let LOVE be the banner over your life. That doesn’t mean you have to compromise or jump on every bandwagon that comes by, but it does mean that you are to operate in the fruit of the Spirit which includes kindness and patience and peace.

“‘I know your deeds and your toil, and your patient endurance, and that you cannot tolerate those who are evil, and have tested and critically appraised those who call themselves apostles (special messengers, personally chosen representatives, of Christ), and [in fact] are not, and have found them to be liars and impostors; and [I know that] you [who believe] are enduring patiently and are bearing up for My name’s sake, and that you have not grown weary [of being faithful to the truth]. But I have this [charge] against you, that you have left your first love [you have lost the depth of love that you first had for Me]. So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent.”Revelation 2:2-5 AMP 

Psalm 1“Blessed [fortunate, prosperous, and favored by God] is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked [following their advice and example], Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit [down to rest] in the seat of scoffers (ridiculers). But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And on His law [His precepts and teachings] he [habitually] meditates day and night. And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; Its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity]. The wicked [those who live in disobedience to God’s law] are not so, But they are like the chaff [worthless and without substance] which the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand [unpunished] in the judgment, Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD knows and fully approves the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked shall perish.”Psalms 1:1-6 AMP

Let me finish by saying I absolutely believe that we are entering into a time of incredible revival. We will see billions come into the kingdom. I believe our best way of partnering with the Lord is being completely grounded and solid in who we are sons and daughters and living a life as close to holiness as possible. We are in no way gong to live perfect lives but it is God who gives us strength to live right as we set our gaze on Him. We don’t strive for holiness, we simply can’t help living an honorable life out of complete adoration and gratefulness to Him. Quickly getting back up and moving forward in His grace and mercy when we fall down.
So out of love for Him we choose to not compromise on our convictions (our non-negotiables) so that He can freely flow through us without hindrance. It is our privilege to lay down our lives for Him. It is true He uses broken people, not perfect people but we should always desire for His transforming power to change us into more Christ likeness.
There’s an invitation from the Lord to come up higher. He’ll change your perspective in the secret place and allow you to zoom way out and see His perspective instead. He wants to share His secrets with you.

I would say at the end of the day this phrase the Lord whispered to my heart is very Biblically based. You can see clearly with anything I listed above that when compromises are made on these non-negotiables we can easily slide into deception and even sin. Sometimes losing marriages, sometimes becoming a very bitter and angry person because of unforgiveness and sadly sometimes even losing our faith. The phrase didn’t come out of scripture but what the Lord has shown me without a doubt is that it does ring true. “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” Let us be a people that stand for what we believe.

Peacemaker

Being a peacemaker & people pleaser are two very different things. I think we are living in a time when these two are very confused.

The Peacemaker Himself said He came to bring a sword. You’ll not always get butterflies when a true peacemaker speaks up but you will get truth.

I felt the invitation from Holy Spirit at the beginning of this year to allow any remnant of this “people pleasing mentality” to be uprooted out of me for good. To do right & fear nothing. To be obedient to the Lord, whatever the cost. Who knew 2020 would be a year of the great divide on every level you can think of. To be completely honest, it has been one of the most painful journeys. When you feel the Lord highlighting things He wants to uproot, it often is painful. Rewarding on the other side but nevertheless difficult to walk through. To feel the conviction of mistaking people pleasing for peacemaking is hard. When it’s woven into your being from life circumstances to not rock the boat & just make sure everyone likes you at all cost, its gross when it’s exposed. It hurts as it’s being unwoven from inside of you. To be very misunderstood when you stand your ground on truth and decide not to continue in “fake unity” any longer for the simple perception of peace & unity. It hurts. It hurts when you see some friendships & relationships unravel.

There is only one true biblical unity anyway and that’s when believers are unified with the Trinity. He then can unify our hearts to one another as His sons & daughters. Not before then. Spiritual unity over socially acceptable unity is what I’m after. Spiritual unity still loves during disagreements, socially acceptable unity does not. Socially acceptable unity says agree with me or else. Or else you don’t love me and support me. Surely in every healthy marriage on the planet, husbands and wives do not agree with each other all the time but this doesn’t stop them from loving each other. Spiritual unity points to a greater covenant. Covenant with the Trinity.

Spiritual unity ignites revival. That is absolutely what I’m after. Seeing the lost encounter the love of God. Seeing hearts set on fire by His presence.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9

Everyone Needs A Mordecai

I woke up a couple of weeks ago and like most days I try and let the first words I say out loud be “good morning Holy Spirit”. I read a book by that name years ago and between that amazing book and the impact Heidi Baker’s life and testimony has had on me, decided it was certainly something I wanted to cultivate in my daily life. The first spoken words from my lips each day, taking my focus off of myself and troubles of normal life and setting my eyes on His and a higher perspective. Acknowledging Holy Spirit as the ever present companion and friend. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been days and even entire seasons where the stress of life has shifted my focus in an unhealthy way and maybe by lunch I’m like “oh my goodness, good morning Holy Spirit”. The sweetest thing is that never once have I felt condemnation from Holy Spirit in those moments but more a constant invitation and welcoming with open arms. Either way, I would highly recommend trying this each morning. Even asking Holy Spirit what’s on His heart. It can certainly shift the atmosphere and even trajectory of your day.

Anyway, two weeks ago when I said this I heard Holy Spirit say “everyone needs a Mordecai in their life”. I felt like I knew for the most part what Holy Spirit was pointing to as I’ve studied the book of Esther many times. We even named our adoptive daughter Estar but even still, you just know when there’s something more “on it” the Lord is highlighting to you. So I’ve spent a couple of weeks praying into this more and studying and allowing new revelation to come.

Maybe I’m the only one who has always thought Esther to be the star of the show in the book of Esther. (No pun intended seeing as Esther means Star.) She is certainly a hero, going from an orphan to becoming a queen, risking her life and then ultimately saving her people. I have gravely overlooked the life and calling of Mordecai though. Something golden that’s been there all along and how could I have missed it?

During my entire walk with Christ I’ve been aware everyone’s destiny is connected to someone else’s. At least it should be. There were people that spoke truth into me and caused an incredible awakening in me that opened my eyes to Jesus. My destiny is connected to them forever and theirs to mine. After coming to Christ and laying your life down there’s a call you know and you feel deeply, to make disciples. To tell others about this loving God who came in the flesh to earth and sacrificed everything just to be with us. So then you turn around and you tell others about this freedom and unconditional love you’ve found in a God who’s transformed your life, and then they experience an awakening and then their destiny is forever linked to yours… and so on and so on.

So, how did I miss this golden nugget in plain sight that Esther’s destiny was one hundred percent attached to Mordecai’s? I’m not sure but I know the Lord no longer wants me to miss it. So back to what Holy Spirit whispered, “everyone needs a Mordecai in their life”. Of course everyone needs a Mordecai! Of course! Mordecai not only spoke truth into Esther that sent her on a path to her destiny, He fathered her. He fed her. He clothed her. He walked with her. He loved her. He corrected her. He encouraged her. He held her accountable. He believed in her. He pushed her to greatness. He saw what she couldn’t see in herself. Esther was brave and courageous and risked everything to fulfill the calling on her life to save her people. What strikes me differently now is that I see how Mordecai was also brave and courageous and risked everything to fulfill not only his calling but Esther’s as well.

We are living in a time where God is calling the Esthers to arise. To speak. To stand. To take their place for such a time as this. This means we are simultaneously living in a time where God is calling the Mordecais to arise. I heard the Lord say, “it’s both and”. “I’ve called you to be an Esther and a Mordecai.” An Esther cannot help but turn back around and become a Mordecai. It becomes apart of your nature once you’ve been poured into and believed in.

Although this is for mothers and fathers, I specifically felt the Lord highlighting mothers to understand their calling to be Mordecais in this season. There’s a boldness that will come on you as you pick up this mantle to lay everything down in bravery for the sake of your children. These can be biological children, adoptive children, foster children, or any other spiritual children you’re pouring into. Their destinies are connected to yours and the Lord wants to give us eyes to see our children through His eyes and to even know who He created them to be.

When I was pregnant with our boys the Lord would often tell me that Xzavier was going to be a John the Baptist and Ezra would be a wild worshiper with a heart after God like King David. Before we even met our now adopted daughters we only had their names and a photo when we began praying for them. The Lord immediately told me that Star (now Estar) would be an Esther and that Sky would be a Deborah. We pray these things over them often but this year the Lord has told me to not only pray it but to speak into them who they are out loud. Speaking out the characteristics of these men and women of the Bible that He pointed me to for each of them. I feel the Lord’s grace helping me to turn each moment into teaching moments with them much more than usual. “Oh no Sky, we do not lie, that’s not who you are. You’re a Deborah, a truth teller, a leader and one that believes in justice.” I see it before my eyes forming who they believe themselves to be and the confidence it brings that the Lord has called them to be His light on the earth in each of their unique ways. I also see how the enemy seeks to speak the complete opposite over them often. Even tempting them in ways that are in direct opposition of their callings. Mothers, there’s a call on our lives to destroy every word the enemy speaks over our children and we do it with our words. Emma Stark often says, “our words have the power to create worlds. They can either create or destroy them.”

Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 16:24 “Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Proverbs 18:21 puts it this way: “The tongue has the power of life and death.”

“Your words have the power to overcome evil with good.” – Kristi McLelland

This couldn’t be more true and the Lord has positioned us as mothers and fathers to help create the world He wants for our children. What they believe about themselves often comes from us. So what are they hearing from us? Is it a voice of encouragement and kindness and love or is it more criticism and disappointment? I’ve certainly been guilty of the latter but this has been a year to “get my house in order”. To understand my calling as a Mordecai in this season.

I have had seasons as an Esther, where I’ve cried out to the Lord for a miracle in situations. Where I saw the Lord expose and flip the plans of the enemy after many were praying and fasting. Like when all odds were against us and the girls and their adoption for more than a year. The Lord stepped in and in a moment turned it around. In that season I had a Mordecai in my life, speaking life into me and reminding me of the promises God had spoken. So yes, it is both and. Be an Esther but absolutely be a Mordecai too. They are both incredibly needed in these last days we are living in. It should always be our desire for our ceiling to be the floor for our children. Longing for them to go further and higher and deeper with the Lord than we ever new possible.

So mothers and fathers, let’s be brave like Mordecai. Let’s be loyal like Mordecai. Let’s be devoted like Mordecai. Let’s be discerning like Mordecai. Let’s love and rescue this generation like Mordecai. Let’s be honorable like Mordecai. Let’s have integrity like Mordecai. Let’s speak truth like Mordecai. Let’s encourage like Mordecai. Let’s see greatness like Mordecai. Let’s be bold and courageous like Mordecai. Lets call our children up higher to a life of holiness like Mordecai. Like Mordecai, with our authority let’s give permission for our children to fly. Let’s teach our children in the ways of the Lord like Mordecai. Let’s ground them with a love and passion for the Word of God like Mordecai. There are destinies and callings that are counting on us to fulfill ours. What an honor we’ve been given. What favor from the Lord to be given the opportunity to love His sons and daughters into their true identity.

And in the famous words of Mordecai, “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14 ESV

I want to encourage you to read the book of Esther again. This time taking in all the ways Mordecai stepped into His calling and how it impacted an entire generation of Jews. I pray we are all ignited with a fresh fire and passion and love for the arrows He has entrusted to us and that one day they grow up to be Mordecais as well. We have been blessed to see our oldest who is now 21 and married turn around and become a Mordecai to those she pours into including her younger siblings.

It’s time to be all in with no compromise. There are many counting on us.

“You be the sun,

I’ll be the moon-

Just let your light

come shining through;

and when night comes,

just like the moon,

I’ll shine the light

right back at you.” – author unknown